Doing Something for Yourself Is Doing Something for Your Team
After my wife and I moved into a new apartment, I had a close friend and client, Joe Miler, a climate activist and CEO of Jaro Fleet Technologies, over for dinner. As I was giving Joe a tour of the apartment, I showed him my home office where I do video calls with the leaders I coach. I mentioned that I was thinking of getting a plant to put behind where I sit visible on camera because it would have a positive, calming effect on my clients. Joe then said, “I was more thinking about you getting a plant to put on your desk for yourself.”
At that moment, I facepalmed. I so often remind the leaders I coach how important it is for them to do things for themselves and not get completely lost in doing things for their company or team, yet in this situation I had forgotten to think about myself.
This was also a reminder of how easy it is to forget to apply the good advice you have for others to yourself. That’s one of the reasons even coaches have coaches. In 2023 alone, I invested over $100,000 to work with highly skilled and specialized coaches for myself.
After my conversation with Joe, I got a plant for myself and put it on my desk. I noticed how that little plant made me even more present with clients. When I’m more present, my clients become more present. When I’m more present, I can tune into my clients even better. When I’m more at ease, my clients are more at ease. Doing something for myself is doing something for my clients.
So often, we can think that doing something for ourselves comes at the expense of doing something for others. But it’s not actually a zero sum game, it’s additive. Great leaders are focused on their people. The “leaders eat last” philosophy is a good base to start from, but often it gets taken too far and is counterproductive.
Doing something for yourself is doing something for your team.
In the hundreds of interviews I’ve conducted gathering 360 feedback for my clients, you wouldn’t believe the number of my clients’ direct reports who tell me that they wish their boss would take a vacation to recharge, are worried about their boss burning out, or would love for their boss to tell their direct reports (i.e. them) “no” more often.
From my experience leading teams at two startups that were acquired, seven years scaling teams at Airbnb, and from coaching founders and leaders of large organizations, I’ve found time and time again that:
When we are stressed as leaders, we pass that stress onto our organizations.
When we push ourselves to the point of burnout, we create an expectation for our teams to do the same—no matter how much we tell them to take care of themselves.
When we’re not rested, we make worse decisions, making employees' jobs harder and their equity in the company worth less.
When we’re reacting only to what our teams ask us for, we’re not spending time being proactive and getting ahead of long-term challenges.
When we people-please by taking every meeting request, we have no time to focus on what we’ve determined to be our highest priorities (i.e. the most important part of our job), which lets everyone down in the end.
Think of someone you really value in your personal or work life. Think of how you feel when they are struggling in their life, burnt out, or feeling unwell. Now think of what a gift to you it is for them to be thriving, healthy, and feeling good.
Your own well-being is one of the greatest gifts you can give to your teams, your families, and the world.
Insight and Action
What’s one little thing you know that doing makes you feel better mentally, emotionally, and/or physically?
How will incorporating more of that one little thing into your life help those around you?
What will you do to more consistently incorporate that one little thing into your life?
A month from now, if you were to look back at this very moment and say “that was the moment that started a big positive shift for myself” what will that shift have been?
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P.S. I help founders and technical leaders thrive while scaling their companies and teams through hypergrowth. I also coach successful individuals in their late 30’s and early 40’s who have reached a plateau and want to feel more alive again in work and life. If one of those sounds like you, send me an email at kevin@kevinricecoaching.com.